That life take 1

You’re not always ready to face life challenges head on but is it really an option?
What if life takes all the things that makes you feel secure away?
What would you do then?
Is there a reset button on this thing we call life?Can’t I hit force quit?
Can I revert to an older version of this file and go back to being this clueless and senseless 14 year old even if life wasn’t that great?
But as a 14 year old i had already lived and seen too much .Things that I can’t take back,people I let have their way, people I hurt ,people that hurt me,If i could go back as far as 3 it would make a difference. I had lived 3 years worth of my life that i can’t recall.Happy moments and ugly moments ;it’s that life that feels like it didn’t even exist. And even if I could remember, would i want to?
If the only option you had to erase a timeline of bad decisions, of bad breakups, of bad people is to take away your first love, your first house, the memory of your family, would you do it?To live life in the moment and as soon as that a moment is gone, completely forget?
To look in the mirror and see the years have gone by and done their damage but not recollect how it went?
That is such a life of a person with Alzheimer’s. Even if my life feels terrible, i’m glad I know exactly why.
Even with all the angst I have and with a fire inside me that burns me, I do not let it consume me,
Even if i write my life in a piece of paper and i watch it burn , I am not that paper. And that part of life didn’t miraculous disappear .The actions I make in ,my life have consequences on those i have learned to love ,those i have yet to love, and those i will never love. My life is precious because my loved ones and those i will never know are just as precious. And if life is too much take a few minutes everyday to just imagine yourself floating in space or immersed in water in the middle of the ocean ;no one can get to you there.

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